Past Experiences

As a child we believe that being a grown up is going to be the best thing in the world; no school, no parents telling us what to do and we can go out and stay out as late as we want. When we reach adulthood we realise how hard it is and instantly want to go back to our childhoods where life was so much simpler and, in a sense, parents telling us what to do made us freer. The beauty of childhood is the innocence that comes with it and, even though in some cases this is snatched away at a very young age, children always look for the best in situations and in an instant can go from sad to happy once a new toy, game or tv programme is introduced. As adults, this amazing feature in us all dwindles, responsibility grows, worry and stress take over and bad life experiences start to define and impact us as if they have become ingrained in us.

My life recently has taken a turn for the better, things have started to fall into place and I am now in a relationship with a lovely, caring guy who really makes me happy (just don't tell him because he will use it against me!) Due to past experiences, I feel I am in danger of completely messing this up and, even though it is very easy to say that not everyone is the same, it's much harder to disassociate yourself from the feeling that everyone is and therefore, I always like to prepare myself for the worst. My last relationship left me broken and I have had to rebuild myself back up and now, with this new relationship, there is potential for it to happen all over again which leaves me stupidly worrying over every little thing. My rational side, luckily I have one otherwise I would most definitely have been committed by now, knows that this cannot carry on if I am going to be happy.

I need to go back to the age of innocence and, with this brand new situation, just be positive and let go of the unnecessary stress and worries. It is a big step, but taking the childhood approach and not letting bad situations become ingrained and defining my future is the only way I will be happy. I can't and don't want to mess this up on the basis of my past life because it is just that, a past experience. Time for us all to remember that not all experiences are the same, its time for us to choose the ones that define us, the ones that have the potential to make us happy and, does he make me happy? Abso-fucking-lutely :)