Remember

In Flanders Fields by John McCrae, May 1915

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep,though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

On 11th November 1918 the First World War ended. During the four years of this 'Great War' nine millions courageous men and boys lost their lives to serve their King and Country.

Remember the dead

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Feelings

Feelings are so confusing. One minute you're so sure how you feel about things and in the next moment your doubting yourself. Sex and the City (which is every girl's guide, or should I say bible, to love, life and sex) shows how feelings can completely mess up situations and make everything ten times worse. Take Carrie and Big's affair as an example, she had the perfect boyfriend in Aidan but because of the feelings she had for Big, even though he was bad for her, she risked everything just to feel close to him again. Have you ever felt like that? You have such a good thing going with one person but someone can make you doubt it and you would drop everything if you had one chance to feel that feeling again when you were with that someone. It's wrong because you could lose everything but it feels right at the time. Feelings are said to be electronic impulses from your brain which is thought to be the more reasonable option, i.e listen to your head not your heart as your going to get a more practical answer, but if thats the case when you are with someone that you like or even love, why is it your heart that aches for them and not your head?

I need to stop watching Sex and the City!

xxx

Questions

Why cant things be straight forward? Why all the complications? Why are there rules we have to follow to get what we want? Why do some people have to work hard to achieve their goals whereas others have it handed to them? Why is there poverty? Why is there war? Why is there love when it can make people miserable? Why are people so hurtful to each other? Why cant everyone be truthful? Why do we want what we can never have? Why do we dream? Why do we cry over the smallest thing? Why cant the gorgeous sweet guy in the film/book be real? Why is it that the food you want has so many calories in? Why cant people want you for who you are? Why cant we be happy with ourselves? Why are we so critical of ourselves? Why do we have to settle for second best when if we try a bit harder we can get the best? Why are there so many unanswered questions?


xxx

Lose yourself

It's weird, as much as I love to talk, in my job I actually get fed up of talking to people. At the end of the work day I like to go home and segregate myself from the world and I do this by reading. I know reading isn't for everyone, I know most people think I'm crazy doing an english degree with the amount of books I have to read, but when I'm reading a good book I lose the sense of reality that I've had to be in all day and I allow myself to become absorbed in the 'other world' within the pages. I become close to the characters and feel involved with the situations that they find themselves in; when they fall in love with the rich, emotionally unavailable bachelor I can see why and find myself wishing for a man exactly the same with the same qualities, maybe without the wealth as that isn't a neccessity. Sometimes I feel I am the character and that all that is happening is happening to me and I get so taken in by this fantasy that sometimes it's hard to come back to reality. It's just an escape from the 'real world' for a few hours because sometimes you just need to get away.
It's quite funny how that when I'm reading, say for instance, a Jane Austen novel that I find myself comparing the gentlemen from the book and the so-called gentlemen of today, I find myself asking " where have all the gentlemen gone?" I expect men to evolve over time but 100 years ago men were different as in they had rules of propriety and how to treat a lady but now them rules have flown out the window. Apparently evolution takes thousands or even millions of years...not in this case! There has got to be some out there but they must be hiding because I sure as hell cant find them!

xxx

Work, Work, Work

I think the title says it all. Thats all I'll be doing this week. I've made quite a few calls today and no doubt will make more after my lunch hour but it's very tedious as it's the same script over and over, call after call. We have to do mystery shoppers where we have to pretend to want car insurance to test whether the sales people are doing their jobs right but I get worried and I feel sorry for them as they get commission off their sales and there's me just pretending which gets them no where. the people here are great, we have a laugh but it doesnt matter how much fun we have there's no getting away from the pure boredom this job gives. I finish this job in 2 weeks and I'm counting down the days.

I've been thinking about what I could do with the money I'm going to have and I have three options:1. Save my money and pay off my overdraft (yeah rite!)

2. By clothes and shoes

3. actually save most of it and go travelling next year.

As appealing as option 2 is I really want to do option 3. I've never been anywhere exotic and cultural, I've only been to holidays places, not that Im saying that that is a bad thing. I've always wanted to travel but thought I nevr counld but I've got to the stage now where Im thinking 'well why cant i?' I just want to say I've travelled, even if its only a little bit. I think I can do it but it's going to take a hell of alot of will power, only problem is I'm not sure if I have any!!

Back the world of work

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Home for the Summer

A new journal for a nearly new year of university. I've been home for nearly 3 months from uni and although the summer has been great for catching up with old friends and new babies, I think its time for me to go back. I miss the independence, which is strange as being home allows me to sit back, relax and have somethings done for me, and I miss the social life!! There's so much hustle and bustle when you go out in Reading and most of the clubs are filled with people you know which makes the night that much better. Its a new year and so a new start, no mistakes repeated this year.
Home has been fun, much more fun than I thought it would be because I've got to spend time with my yummy mummy friend Mrs Natalie Smith. I've known this girl, I would say lady if the title would fit but unfortunatley it doesnt lol, for 15 years and even though she is now married and has a beautiful baby she hasnt changed one little bit. She's still fun, hilarious in her blonde ways (by the way she's naturally a brunette) and she still makes the time to listen to my stories and problems, no matter how pointless they are. Im very lucky to have her as a best friend.
I'm gonna move swiftly on because that was really sloppy for me lol. Im back in work on monday, not fun! The job is boring but its giving me some money which I will no doubt spend on clothes as my old clothes are falling to pieces-literally!! It will also give me lots of money for many large nights out!! Woohoo!! Only 2 weeks and 6 days till im back in the ding!! Not that I'm counting or anything :)


xxxxx