The Final Phase

So, here we are, the third trimester. I can't believe how quickly it has gone, I swear I only found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago! This trimester so far has been my favourite as, not only have I found out I am having a son and bought nearly every single piece of boy clothing out there, this is the part of the pregnancy where I feel like I have really bonded with him. He moves constantly and is getting stronger all the time, kicks have given way to him just being able to stretch as it's getting a little cramped in there (anyone who knows my partner will understand why). It's these moments where I can feel all this happening, where a little hand pushes up my stomach and I can feel it with my own hand, that I really feel connected to him and excited to meet him. The scary thing is that my due date, as of Saturday, is only 10 weeks away...

As excited and full of anticipation as I am, I am crapping myself, to put it mildly. This is one of the biggest things I have ever experienced in my life and one of the only things I can't plan for or comprehend what is going to happen. Going in blind to something as big as this is terrifying. I am lucky in so many ways that the boy is in the same situation as me, well kind of - he won't be pushing anything out, as I have someone to walk into the unknown with. I have hit the stage where I am panicking about everything, whether we have enough clothes (the answer is yes - I'm going to have to change him three times a day to get through it all), whether we have the essentials, what we're going call him, whether it will be perfect for him and also, the biggest panic of all, whether I can do this! Medicine has come on leaps and bounds but, at the end of the day, it will come down to me and me alone. People have faith in my abilities (if we can call it that) so I guess I just need to find faith in myself.

One thing is for sure, in approximately 10 weeks time my life is going to be turned upside down forever and I am going to have my own family and be a mum for the rest of my life. What a wonderfully scary thought :)

xxx