Life lately has taken a turn, for the better but it has made me realise that it is time to shed the mindset of the 18 year old that I still think I am and come to terms with the fact that I am 23 and not getting younger. I still mourn my teenage years, the easy life where boys were the hot topic of conversation and make up was a new found fad. I still envy those young girls swanning around town without a care in the world and not yet knowing the harsh realities that the world can bring even though I know that I should appreciate being slightly older and that little bit wiser I miss the simplicity of life then. Now, I am working 40 hour weeks and have to make an actual decision of what I want to be now that I'm grown up and I can no longer just think about myself as I am in a real grown up relationship and it is now "us" and "we". My soul sister is my inspiration and my rock, calming me down when my teenage mind kicks in and freaks out about the fact I have a serious boyfriend or throws a strop when I have to work when I want to go out. She has grown up way before me, she embraced it whereas I fight it, but she has pure patience and calmly guides me when I need it. Either that or she will just get me to babysit my beautiful nieces for an hour to snap me out of it.
I sound ungrateful and silly but growing up is scary. This really hit home today when I booked a holiday for myself and my boyfriend. Going away with a boyfriend is a big grown up thing and I'm freaking out slightly but I'm excited! He is such an amazing guy and I have never been in a relationship like it where being a grown up is so much fun! I am gradually starting to believe that I am in fact 23 and not 18, and that I am actually a grown woman who is an auntie to 2 beautiful girls and another on the way, a sister to a saintly woman with a heart of gold and a girlfriend to a wonderful man.
If this is grown up life then I am ready!
xx
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